22 7 / 2014

bebinn:

mysalivaismygifttotheworld:

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.

Yes, consent is nonsexual, too!

Not only that, but one of the reasons many child victims of sexual abuse don’t reach out is that they don’t have the understanding or words for what is happening to them, and why it isn’t okay. Teaching kids about consent helps them build better relationships and gives them the tools to seek help if they or a friend need our protection.

(via thislittleelephantfamily)

30 6 / 2014

30 6 / 2014

30 6 / 2014

19 4 / 2014

This super weird thing happens when your friends start getting married. You stop having things in common with them, because you’re just kinda, ya know, single and being happy, and don’t understand the meticulous nuances of married life.

“You don’t understand, yet. Once you get married, you will,” they tell me, or, “Aw, now, stop. You’re just jealous.”

Actually, I am the absolute antithesis of jealous. I am so thankful I am not currently standing anywhere near that altar, considering, I don’t even have a boyfriend. 

Nor do I want one.

I am going to be 24 in a month. My parents got married when they were 23, so I am almost at the age where their ability to relate with my experience expires. It’s super weird – I can’t imagine being married now and going through grad school, let alone having spawn 3 years from now – the age my mother spawned me. I can barely handle being responsible for myself, let alone, a super tiny, fragile, incredibly dependent human with half of my genetic code (or none if I choose to adopt).

“Is there anyone special?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“So there is someone special?”
“No, I meant ‘yes’ that I was sure that there was no one.”
“Well, when you find the right person, you’ll change your tune.”

 The only aspects of marriage that actually attract me is a joint banking account. Doubling the amount of my annual salary – and his – so we can afford a home and cars, and create little, succubus, alien creatures known as children.

But here’s the thing. I need to graduate from grad school. I have a year left, and I’ll be looking for a job. I can’t handle winter anymore, and will be hoping to move back to California. There is little to no point looking for someone to complement me while I still live in Illinois. I’ve met too many people who are happy here, or well established, or are where they want to be, and this place is my hellhole.

There are literally a million things I can think of that I want to do before I ever settle down, and vomit all over myself by turning into my married friends who I have ruthlessly mocked. I want to graduate. I want to see more of the world. I want to move to California. I want to go to Disneyland Paris. I want to reunite with old friends. I want to make new friends. I want to live in a city. I want to foster dogs. I want to continue to date casually. I want to go on a road trip down PCH (Pacific Coast Highway). I want to see the swallows at San Juan Capistrano mission. I want to smell the night blooming jasmine of Los Angeles. The world is too vast for me to want to get married, now. I don’t know how my friends decided they were ready, but I am not.

19 4 / 2014

adultintrainingblog:

I love the internet. So. Much. Because I get to find things like real-life Bob’s Burgers.

adultintrainingblog:

I love the internet. So. Much. Because I get to find things like real-life Bob’s Burgers.

19 4 / 2014

deadevans:

→ 1/4 hogwarts houses

deadevans:

→ 1/4 hogwarts houses

19 4 / 2014

26 3 / 2014

11 12 / 2013

dungeon-crowley:

dayglobetty:

This gif set will never get old, ever.

i literally just choked on my pizza.

(via professorgnarly)