30 Day Horror Challenge
I FINALLY got this done! I’m so impressed with myself. It took me longer than a month with all of my adventures getting in the way, but alas, it is completed!
Day 1: A horror movie that delivered a scary theatre experience.
Honestly, I hate to be one of those people who back up one of those trashy “based on a true story” movies, but Paranormal Activity was excellent in theatres on opening night. It was a full house at midnight, surrounded by people who get more scared than I do, and their nervous energy really impacted me and I don’t think I have ever been this scared while watching a horror movie in my entire life.
Day 2: A disappointing or unnecessary remake
All I am going to say about this insult to the 1970s Jamie Lee Curtis original, is why? WHY, Prom Night?! Why!?
Day 3: A scene or image that is burned into your mind
Unsurprisingly, two images from the French surrealist film, Un Chien Andalou, are burned into my memory forever. Of course, the famous “slicing the eyeball” scene and the lesser discussed “ants burrowing their way out of the man’s hand” scene.
Day 4: Movie that kills off/maims countless main characters
I’m probably one of the only people ever who enjoys this 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead, but I do, and I’m not ashamed to say so. How can you say ‘no’ to senseless violence, comedy, Richard Cheese, and gore? Um, newsflash, you can’t. But the reason why this film appears during this day is simply because there are so many movies where characters get killed off, but this was the first one that popped into my head.
Day 5: Excellent use of sound effects
I have nothing else to say.
Day 6: Doesn’t seem to scare other people as much as it scares you
The Jackal character from Thirteen Ghosts. While the storyline is a little far-fetched, stars Shaggy and Mr. Monk, and is a little too steam-punk-y for my taste, this particular character scares the ever loving SHIT out of me. If The Jackal came running at me down a hallway, I’d probably be paralyzed with fear. Too many nightmares of this guy.
Day 7: An incredibly twisted movie
I don’t know how the Saw writers are able to create more and more bizarre and twistedly disgusting ways for victims to inadvertently kill themselves, but Saw III takes the cake for me. One scene in particular that involves ground up decaying animal carcasses is especially horrifying and makes my lip curl at the thought of it as I type this.
Day 8: A terrifying inanimate object
Tie between the clown doll from Poltergeist
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And the doll from the Saw Franchise
Unsurprisingly, two dolls, because dolls are one of the few things that scare the bejeezus out of me.
Day 9: A movie that you like to introduce to people
Now, look. Rosemary’s Baby is one of the greatest horror movies of all time. I watched it for the first time when I was like 15 and I was completely enthralled within the story — even when stupid Vidal Sassoon cut off all of Mia Farrow’s hair. The story is a classic ghost/scary story and I love shit like that. Honestly, I eat shit like that up for breakfast on a daily basis. On top of that, because I really don’t want to ruin the amazing storyline for this classic, the music is beyond terrifying and it sounds like Mia Farrow herself is “singing” the “theme song” and it makes me want to cry myself to sleep.
Day 10: A bad first movie with a great sequel
I don’t think this exists honestly — at least in my opinion. If the 1st one was bad, I doubt I’d watch the second one. Just sayin’.
Day 11: Great use of lighting
1930s Dracula starring Bela Lugosi. This picture should pretty much tell you everything that you need to know.
Day 12: Horror movie plot you would be the least likely to end up in
Before I reveal which one in particular I would be least likely to end up in, let’s state for the record, that I am way too smart to allow myself to get into ANY of the situations stupid people get themselves into in horror movies. That said, I would be least likely to be found in the plot-line of Dead Silence.
Remember what I said about dolls? The second that ventriloquist’s dummy appeared on my doorstep in the first 30 seconds of the movie, I’d take it outside, set it on fire and punt it down the street. No way that thing is even coming into the place where I live; however, Ryan Kwanten (pre-True Blood fame) is a huge babe, so I might face my fear for him. Highly doubt it though.
Day 13: A formidable antagonist
Honestly, it would be Jason Voorhees of the Friday the 13th films. That son of bitch just doesn’t die. That’s probably due to the fact that he’s already dead, but on top of that instant badass status, he wields a machete, wears a hockey mask, was bullied before he died (so he’s pretty angry), and is as big as a dinosaur. I would probably shit myself. I also imagine that he smells pretty fucking rank.
Day 14: An egregious mis-use of the “based on true story” claim
There are so many of these out there, and they will continue to be made because of ONE FACT: There will ALWAYS be stupid people who believe this cock and bull shit to be true. The first film that really took this “reality” style film was The Blair Witch Project and that actually wasn’t terrible — frankly, when it was made it was actually an original and creative ploy. Since then there have been countless “accounts” of this nature. I’d have to say the most ridiculous one yet would be Paranormal Activity. Even though I DID enjoy the movie, the scares, and the energy of the people I went with, I knew damn well that it wasn’t a “true story”, but again, the idiots of the world will believe anything you tell them.
Day 15: A painfully suspenseful movie
Shutter Island. Not necessarily a ‘horror’ movie by classic definition, but it’s definitely a thriller and it had me on the edge of my seat throughout. Definitely a good one, and Mr. Dicaprio sure knows how to pick ‘em. He’s also a babe. So that helps, too.
Day 16: A frightening dream sequence/hallucination
Pretty much the ENTIRE Black Swan film. Not only was Natalie Portman exceptional, but the film itself was so twisted and grotesque, her hallucinations were absurd and I spent the whole film trying to figure out what was going on. Touche, ballet, touche.
Day 17: A bad ass post/pre-kill one-liner
Anything Freddy Kruger has to say.
Day 18: A movie with unsettling scenery
Mirrors wasn’t a completely terrible movie in my opinion and honestly, Keifer Sutherland didn’t make me want to shoot myself in the face the whole film, which was surprising, but the reason why this film made the cut here, is because mirrors are already terrifying in some way. Now, let’s add a decrepit, haunted, department store to the mix, and — horrifying. There is no way I would be caught dead in that building.
Day 19: A horror movie that gives you nightmares
There is just something about The Ring that mades me scared to sleep in the dark with only the company of my television. Even though I’ve seen this film numerous times, and have never received a “seven days” phone call, I still find myself holding my breath after the credits begin to roll.
The character of Samara is unsettling at best, and the grotesque, disfigured, screaming, water logged victims burn eerie images into my brain that I can’t shake.
Day 20: A great re-make
I really liked Rob Zombie’s remake of Halloween. I know a lot of people didn’t like it, my father included, but I like all the background information he lays out for Michael Myers. This gives the character more depth and makes him feel more like a human being, which honestly, in my opinion, is scarier than your average knife wielding maniac.
I also really, really, really, liked Marcus Nispel’s remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I know a lot of people who didn’t like it very much as well, but I’d have to disagree. The whole movie felt really gritty and dirty and I love creepy hillbillies in every aspect. Even though I find Jessica Biel annoying in most films, she actually fought to try to survive Leatherface and she earned some respect in my book — for once.
Day 21: A horror movie that only makes you laugh
Oh, Thankskilling. This move in NO WAY should be taken seriously, and the only reason it has actually made the cut here, is because it is a huge inside joke for horror fans. The main villain (an axe wielding turkey) runs around killing people and spewing hilarious one-liners whilst doing so. I just laugh through the whole movie, and I’m even ashamed (maybe I’m not though…it is pretty hilarious) to admit that I have watched it at least 4 times.
Day 22: A frightening child actor
The Good Son changed the way I feel about Macaulay Culkin for the rest of my life. Before this film, he was Kevin, from Home Alone who bested the robbers in silly and creative ways, and now, he’s the spawn on satan and I can’t look at baby Culkin in the same sweet, endearing, joyous way ever again.
Day 23: Graphics that pull you out of the movie
Any made for TV horror movie that plays on SyFy.
Day 24: An effective jump scare
Demon from Insidious lurking behind Patrick Wilson’s stupid head and dopey face. I half hoped (after I re-swallowed my heart) that the demon was going to decapitate him. No such luck, though.
Day 25: Excellent use of soundtrack
The Jaws theme song. What a classic — and a water phobia inducing — sound. Jaws was one of the many culprits behind my long stint with hydrophobia. I suppose nearly drowning in the ocean once had something to do with it, too…
Day 26: An aggravatingly incompetent protagonist
There are way too many to just choose one.
Day 27: A terrifying creature
Let’s be honest here for a second. Literally ANYTHING from Silent Hill is fucking terrifying. Pyramid Head, those Nurses up there, the fucking twisted man in the bathroom stall. Fucking holy hell this movie haunts my nightmares…I’m sorta feeling like watching it again soon…
Day 28: A horror movie that is hard to watch
Jenifer by Dario Argento makes me cringe, dry heave, turn away and wish I had occupied my time with something else — like lighting my eyeballs on fire. I literally just…can’t. I don’t think I’ve ever finished this short movie/Masters of Horror episode.
Day 29: A great horror movie with a terrible cast
I really, really, really liked Insidious. The plot was really original and the characters were interesting, however, I HATE stupid Patrick Wilson. He is a terrible actor and he has a dopey face, so even though this movie scared the bejeezus out of me, I just felt like laughing every time PW was on screen. Not to mention the “ghost hunter” geeks, Specks (actor from Saw) and whatever that other guy’s name was. Terrible.
Day 30: Your favorite final scene, scare or image
It doesn’t matter how many fucking times I’ve seen The Ring. Every time Samara starts to climb out of the TV like a soggy, cracked out rat, I start screaming at the TV: “NO! NO! NO! OMG!” and then I have nightmares for days.
Chewbacca Riding A Giant Squirrel and Fighting Nazis
Someone give that Wookiee a medal!
I wish this was real life.
I laughed for far too long at this — oh, the humor of an English major.
(Source: leftyperspecty)
